Where I'm Supposed To Be

Today I've been thinking about Las Vegas and all the time I've spent here. I don't remember ever planning to live in Vegas, but when the time came to sign up for student teaching, I remember feeling good about going to Las Vegas, so I put it as my numero uno option. After that, I got cold feet, so to speak, and started thinking I wanted to teach in Utah to be closer to my brother. And then I wanted to stay in Idaho and student teach with my teacher from my senior practicum. And for those of you who know me, ice and I don't get along. It's basically a hate hate relationship. There is no love. So why did I want to stay in Idaho or move to Utah? I think I was scared. I don't know anyone here, and my closest family is 4 hours away, as opposed 30 minutes in Idaho. So I did what any person would do. I petitioned to stay in Idaho. I told them I had doctors there. I told them I had family there. I told them I had a job there. (My security boss was going to let me keep my job.) Sadly, none of those excuses worked. The school told me they already had our placements set in stone and couldn't change anything. Ironic because I didn't know my placement and didn't find out until my first day of student teaching. But I was sent to Vegas. And it was HARD!!! Leaving my parents' hotel room the night before they left was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cried the whole way back to my apartment. After that, I tried to find peace with Vegas. Not easy, let me tell you. My ward wasn't welcoming to the student teachers. They saw us as replaceable, and didn't bother to talk to us. It was ironic because most of them were in our shoes at one point or another. I didn't even know if the bishop knew my name. I had a FANTASTIC roommate though. She and I got to know each other really well. And I'm so glad that we ended up rooming together. That's one thing I love about BYUI housing. I have always had roommates that I got along great with!
Anyway, around the end of January, I was super overwhelmed. No joke, I looked up law schools and was going to apply to law school instead of student teaching. I figured I made it through college, I could handle law school. Sadly, I missed the deadline to apply. How much did I miss it by, you ask? One week. If I had had these feelings of frustrations one week sooner, I could have had a completely different life. But that's not how my life works. A couple weeks later, I got a message from my fhe dad from my first semester of college. He had student taught in Vegas a year earlier. He told me that even though he considered Vegas a desert wasteland, that he truly does love Vegas. He met his wife while living here, and they just had beautiful twin boys. It was a very sweet message. He ended it by telling me he didn't know why he decided to tell me everything he did. How could he know that I was having the hardest time in my life so far? I hadn't told anyone about how I was feeling except my parents. His message to me was a tender mercy. Today as I was thinking about why I am here, I just had this overwhelming feeling that I am right where I'm supposed to be. I made the decision to take a job here and move back, because I had this feeling that I am supposed to be here. I don't know why, but here I am. I know the Lord has plans for me, and he will reveal them in His own time. I just need to be patient.
On a happier note, I will be 21 in exactly 8 days! Party!! And in thinking how I wanted to celebrate and who I want to celebrate with, I realized something. I know people here!! I invited a whole 7 people! Not including me and my roommate. Whoo hoo! Have a lovely week you beautiful people :)